(no subject)
Apr. 2nd, 2019 11:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I haven't seen many posts talking about this but I think it is something worth talking about.
https://theoutline.com/post/7267/living-with-passive-suicidal-ideation
https://theoutline.com/post/7267/living-with-passive-suicidal-ideation
no subject
Date: 2019-04-02 04:43 pm (UTC)I haven't wanted to be alive for about...three years? maybe a little longer? I vacillate between Actively Hoping for Death and Merely Wishing To Not Be Alive. My best days are the ones where I'm not disappointed that I woke up that morning--the ones where I have only a sense of mild annoyance that I'm still here, still (barely) functioning.
And I know this isn't going to change unless my health improves significantly. Improves to a point that I honestly can't even see from here.
I won't kill myself--I know how sad and pissed off my friends would be and I will never put them through that unless things get so so SO much worse than they are.
But as far as being excited to be alive, not having that feeling of "gosh wouldn't it be great to just not wake up in the morning" no, I don't even remember how that feels.
And it's not something I think about unless it's pointed out to me. It's just my life. *shrug*
Keep on keeping on. Chop wood, carry water.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-02 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-02 07:51 pm (UTC)The Ocean.
is serving really living?
This...
Date: 2019-04-03 04:03 am (UTC)Borrowing for use elsewhere.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-04 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-17 02:36 am (UTC)Some days, each of us just gets tired.